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There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Never
Railroads
Testimony
Smart
Modern
Understand
Two
Timetable
Care
Timetables
Things
Railroad

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There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can never tell, till you see it, just how big a liar History is.
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It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
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The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation. I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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Never miss a chance to shut up
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
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We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.
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Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
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Don't wait to buy land, buy land and wait.
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In the Middle West now you got to put a brand on your soil, then in the Spring go on a round-up looking for it.
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Rail-splitting produced an immortal president in Lincoln, but golf hasn't produced even a good Congressman.
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Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
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There is not a better day in the world to be spent than with a lot of wise old cowmen around barbecued beef, black coffee and good free holy beans.
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Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.
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I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
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You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?
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Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded.
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Funny to watch these Senators switching back and forth on Prohibition. Politics is a great character builder. You have to take a referendum to see what your convictions are for that day.
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I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you.
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Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill.
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