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There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Testimony
Smart
Modern
Understand
Two
Timetable
Care
Timetables
Things
Railroad
Never
Railroads

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I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
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Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.
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Don't wait to buy land, buy land and wait.
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These dust storms.... Poor farmer spent a lifetime fixin' his farm and everything, goes out and looks down at it, and it's up above him.
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People learn more from observation that they do from conversation.
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The US is safest when Congress is in recess.
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Say, this new home building idea of President Hoover's sounds good. They are working out a lot of beneficial things. The only thing is it took 'em so long to think of any of 'em. We ought to have plans in case of depression, just like we do in case of fire, 'Walk, don't run, to the nearest exit.'
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Whoever said a horse was dumb, was dumb
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Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes. You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the bills you can pass in a year.
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They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.
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I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
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Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office.
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I would never make a good economist. You know, an economist is a man that can tell you anything about — well, he will tell you what can happen under any given condition — and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's, too.
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Everything worthwhile is a good idea, but did you ever notice there is more bad ideas that will work than there is good ones?
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Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste.
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Ability is all right but if it is not backed up by honesty and public confidence you will never be a successful person. The best a man can do is to arrive at the top in his chosen profession. I have always maintained that one profession is deserving of as much honor as another provided it is honorable.
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The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem.
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