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There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Two
Timetable
Care
Timetables
Things
Railroad
Never
Railroads
Testimony
Smart
Modern
Understand

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Every time we have an election, we get in worse men and the country keeps right on going. Times have proven only one thing and that is you can't ruin this country even with politics.
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Rotation of crops and less automobiles will relieve the farmers whenever they decide to try it.
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Americans will feed anyone that's not close to them.
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Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are.
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Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.
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You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
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The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
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A man only learns by two things one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.
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Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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It will take America fifteen years of steady taking care of our own business and letting everybody else's alone, to get us back to where everybody speaks to us again.
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Foreign relations is an open book-- generally a checkbook.
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There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
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The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment.
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I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian. That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday.
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If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week
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My forefathers didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat.
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It's no laughing matter being a Republican in these perilous times. Anyone can be a Republican when the stock market is up, but when stocks are selling for no more than they're worth, I tell you, being a Republican - it's a sacrifice.
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Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.
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In Washington, one man could do what ten of them do. There could be only a quarter or a third as many congressmen or senators, and we would pick better ones then. But it's the system that we have always used, and there is no use getting all overcome with perspiration over it. Things kinder run themselves, anyhow.
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