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Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Missing
Tobacco
Chance
Chips
Good
Kick
Never
Cows
Men
Kicks
Shut
Chip
Hot
Chewing
Miss
Slap
More quotes by Will Rogers
If your Income Taxes go to help out the less fortunate, there could be no legitimate kick against it in the world. This is becoming the richest, and the poorest Country in the world. Why? Why, on account of an unequal distribution of the money.
Will Rogers
Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.
Will Rogers
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
Will Rogers
It sure did kick up some excitement in the Senate when one Senator called the other Senators 'sons of Wild jackasses.' Well, if you thought it made the Senators hot, you wait till you see what happens when the jackasses hear how they have been slandered.
Will Rogers
They are having quite an argument over Treasury Secretary Mellon's Tax Bill. Mr. Mellon wants to cut the surtax on the rich, and leave it as is on the poor, as there is more poor than rich. I suppose the majority will win.
Will Rogers
We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.
Will Rogers
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
Will Rogers
People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please.
Will Rogers
With all our crime and all our immorality ... and about as much contentment and respose as a fresh-caged hyena, we go to tell the whole world: we are the only one with the right idea!
Will Rogers
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
Will Rogers
Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.
Will Rogers
The self persists like a dying star, In sleep, afraid.
Will Rogers
I guess there is no two races of people in worse repute with everybody than the international bankers, and the folks that put all those pins in new shirts.
Will Rogers
If a bank fails in China, they behead the men at the top of it that was responsible... If we beheaded all of ours that were responsible for bank failures, we wouldn't have enough people left to bury the heads.
Will Rogers
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.
Will Rogers
What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?
Will Rogers
If all the time consumed in attending dinners and luncheons was consumed in some work, the production of this country would be doubled
Will Rogers
This session of Congress is also to relieve the farmer again, relieve him of any encouragement that he might have received during the last one.
Will Rogers
We Americans think we are pretty good! We want to build a house, we cut down some trees. We want to build a fire, we dig a little coal. But when we run out of all these things, then we will find out just how good we really are.
Will Rogers
Farmers spend more time at Conventions than they do plowing.
Will Rogers
