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Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Good
Kick
Never
Cows
Men
Kicks
Shut
Chip
Hot
Chewing
Miss
Slap
Missing
Tobacco
Chance
Chips
More quotes by Will Rogers
Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office.
Will Rogers
I have always claimed Americans didn't want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they did happen to want one.
Will Rogers
Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down.
Will Rogers
If we could just go back the last two or three years and do our buying a little more carefully, why... we would be O.K.
Will Rogers
I bet you, if I had met Trotsky, and had had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I have never yet met a man I didn't like.
Will Rogers
A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some.
Will Rogers
There is one thing about Englishmen, they won't fix anything till it's just about totally ruined. You couldn't get the English to fix anything at the start. No! They like to sit and watch it grow worse. Then, when it just looks like the whole thing has gone up Salt Creek, why, the English jump in and rescue it.
Will Rogers
I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.
Will Rogers
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
Will Rogers
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
Will Rogers
Now I am not unpatriotic, and I want to do my bit, so I hereby offer my services to my President, my country and my friends to do anything, outside of serving on a commission, that I can in this great movement. But you will have to give me some idea of where confidence is. And just who you want it restored to.
Will Rogers
But we can't alibi all our ills by just knocking the old banker. First he loaned the money, then the people all at once wanted it back, and he didn't have it. Now he's got it again, and is afraid to loan it, so the poor devil don't know what to do.
Will Rogers
We do more talking progress than we do progressing.
Will Rogers
The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible, exception of stupidity.
Will Rogers
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
Will Rogers
I would never make a good economist. You know, an economist is a man that can tell you anything about — well, he will tell you what can happen under any given condition — and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's, too.
Will Rogers
A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.
Will Rogers
If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier.
Will Rogers
The small town is passing. It was the incubator that hatched all our big men, and that's why we haven't got as many big men today as we used to have. Take every small-town-raised leader out of business and you would have nobody left running it but vice-presidents.
Will Rogers
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
Will Rogers
