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You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Never
Reading
Secondly
Read
Impossibility
Two
Pigs
Reason
Annoying
Firsts
Reasons
Book
Hell
First
Impossible
Trying
Teach
Annoys
More quotes by Will Rogers
A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.
Will Rogers
Coolidge made less speeches and got more votes than any man that ever run. (William Jennings) Bryan was listened to and cheered by more people than any single human in politics, and he lost. So there is a doubt just whether talking does you good or harm.
Will Rogers
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
Will Rogers
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.
Will Rogers
If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry.
Will Rogers
Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Will Rogers
A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some.
Will Rogers
Horsemanship through the history of all nations has been considered one of the highest accomplishments. You can't pass a park without seeing a statue of some old codger on a horse. It must be to his bravery, you can tell it's not to his horsemanship.
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I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.
Will Rogers
Both gangs have been bad sports, so see if at least one can't redeem themselves by offering no alibis, but cooperate with the winner, for no matter which one it is the poor fellow is going to need it.
Will Rogers
Now I am not unpatriotic, and I want to do my bit, so I hereby offer my services to my President, my country and my friends to do anything, outside of serving on a commission, that I can in this great movement. But you will have to give me some idea of where confidence is. And just who you want it restored to.
Will Rogers
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Will Rogers
It sure did kick up some excitement in the Senate when one Senator called the other Senators 'sons of Wild jackasses.' Well, if you thought it made the Senators hot, you wait till you see what happens when the jackasses hear how they have been slandered.
Will Rogers
The government says they have loaned over One Billion dollars to the Farmers. In other words, we can't help you make any money, but we will show you where you can owe some more.
Will Rogers
It's getting so if a man wants to stand well socially, he can't afford to be seen with either the Democrats or the Republicans.
Will Rogers
Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.
Will Rogers
A Democrat is just like a baby. If it's hollering and making a lot of noise, there is nothing serious the matter with it. When it's quiet and doesn't pay much attention to anything, that's when it's really dangerous.
Will Rogers
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back
Will Rogers
I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes-I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em
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Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Will Rogers