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You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Reason
Annoying
Firsts
Reasons
Book
Hell
First
Impossible
Trying
Teach
Annoys
Never
Reading
Secondly
Read
Impossibility
Two
Pigs
More quotes by Will Rogers
I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers when they catch 'em from now on, they're going to publish their names.
Will Rogers
America is the first country where people go to the poor house in their car.
Will Rogers
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they're doing. Amen.
Will Rogers
Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!
Will Rogers
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
Will Rogers
Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers.
Will Rogers
I do honestly believe the Republicans have reformed and want to do better. But whether they have done it in time to win the election is another thing. The old voter is getting so he wants to be saved before October every election year.
Will Rogers
The Supreme Court is divided almost in half on the decisions. Talk about an international court. How would we ever agree with a lot of foreigners when we can't even agree among our own judges?
Will Rogers
A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.
Will Rogers
You know you've got to exercise your brain just like your muscles.
Will Rogers
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity's door if you ardently wish to enter.
Will Rogers
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
Will Rogers
See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.
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Wine had such ill effects on Noah's health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long.
Will Rogers
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Will Rogers
People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible
Will Rogers
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it
Will Rogers
Under capitalism man exploits man under socialism the reverse is true.
Will Rogers