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There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
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Two
Grand
America
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Littles
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Petty
Always
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Extras
More quotes by Will Rogers
... while the Republicans are smart enough to make money, the Democrats are smart enough to get in office every two or three times a century and take it away from 'em.
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
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My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.
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See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.
Will Rogers
The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years.
Will Rogers
Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.
Will Rogers
Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Will Rogers
Syntax must be bad, having sin and tax in it.
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Lord, let me live until I die.
Will Rogers
Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.
Will Rogers
This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it that few people realize. That is, that unfortunately every one of them is replaced by someone else. If it wasn't for that, this resignation business would be great.
Will Rogers
That's one thing about Republican Presidents. They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can.
Will Rogers
Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.
Will Rogers
This session of Congress is also to relieve the farmer again, relieve him of any encouragement that he might have received during the last one.
Will Rogers
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
Will Rogers
You can't legitimately kick on income tax, for it's on what you have made. You have already made it. But, look at land, farms, homes, stores, vacant lots. You pay year after year on them whether you make it or not.
Will Rogers
It sure did kick up some excitement in the Senate when one Senator called the other Senators 'sons of Wild jackasses.' Well, if you thought it made the Senators hot, you wait till you see what happens when the jackasses hear how they have been slandered.
Will Rogers
I read where they are going to limit debate in the Senate. It used to be that a man could talk all day, but now, as soon as he tells all he knows, he has to sit down. Most of these birds will just be getting up and nodding now. Why, some of them won't be able to answer roll call.
Will Rogers
Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
Will Rogers