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All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Take
Congress
Enough
Mark
Long
Record
Stay
Congressional
Records
Applause
Stuff
Awake
America
Parts
Find
Laughter
More quotes by Will Rogers
I haven't seen a tractor working all day. The country has gone sane and got back to horses. Farmers all look worse, but they feel better.
Will Rogers
She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.
Will Rogers
That's the trouble with our charities we are always saving somebody away off, when the fellow next to us ain't eating.
Will Rogers
President Coolidge said, 'I don't want the Government to go into business.' Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn't worry over that. The Government never has been accused of being a business man.
Will Rogers
In Washington, one man could do what ten of them do. There could be only a quarter or a third as many congressmen or senators, and we would pick better ones then. But it's the system that we have always used, and there is no use getting all overcome with perspiration over it. Things kinder run themselves, anyhow.
Will Rogers
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
Will Rogers
The trip across Arizona is just one oasis after another. You can just throw anything out and it will grow there, I like Arizona.
Will Rogers
A man only learns by two things one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.
Will Rogers
A Democrat is just like a baby. If it's hollering and making a lot of noise, there is nothing serious the matter with it. When it's quiet and doesn't pay much attention to anything, that's when it's really dangerous.
Will Rogers
You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets.
Will Rogers
Everytime a lawyer writes something, he is not writing for posterity, he is writing something so that endless others of his craft can make a living out of trying to figure out what he said. Course perhaps he really haden't said anything, that's what makes it so hard to explain.
Will Rogers
These dust storms.... Poor farmer spent a lifetime fixin' his farm and everything, goes out and looks down at it, and it's up above him.
Will Rogers
We will never get anywhere with our finances till we pass a law saying...every time we appropriate something, we...pass another bill...stating where the money is coming from.
Will Rogers
I'm not against (bull fighting). Some nations like to see blood, and some like to see their victims suffer from speculation... They kill the bull very quick. Wall Street lets you live and suffer.
Will Rogers
I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't.
Will Rogers
The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him.
Will Rogers
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
Will Rogers
When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that's all there is to success is satisfaction.
Will Rogers
When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you've got to have been looking for it.
Will Rogers
Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.
Will Rogers