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All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Records
Applause
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Awake
America
Parts
Find
Laughter
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Congress
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Mark
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Congressional
More quotes by Will Rogers
Common sense is not an issue in politics--it's an affliction.
Will Rogers
If you don't have malice in our heart, it doesn't come across harsh.
Will Rogers
Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. Machinery is doing just fine. If it can't kill you, it will put you out of work.
Will Rogers
We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening.
Will Rogers
People don't change under governments. Governments change. People remain the same.
Will Rogers
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
Will Rogers
The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds.
Will Rogers
I do honestly believe the Republicans have reformed and want to do better. But whether they have done it in time to win the election is another thing. The old voter is getting so he wants to be saved before October every election year.
Will Rogers
I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to.
Will Rogers
The South is dry and will vote dry. That is, everybody that is sober enough to stagger to the polls will.
Will Rogers
You must never tell a thing. You must illustrate it. We learn through the eye and not the noggin.
Will Rogers
The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
Will Rogers
The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years.
Will Rogers
A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.
Will Rogers
If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it'll change.
Will Rogers
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
Will Rogers
Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can't figure out.
Will Rogers
Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.
Will Rogers
Many a politician wishes there was a law to burn old records.
Will Rogers
The minute a thing is long and complicated, it confuses. Whoever wrote the Ten Commandments made 'em short. They may not always be kept, but they are understood.
Will Rogers