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I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
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If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week
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Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
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When you straddle a thing it takes a long time to explain it.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds.
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Coolidge made less speeches and got more votes than any man that ever run. (William Jennings) Bryan was listened to and cheered by more people than any single human in politics, and he lost. So there is a doubt just whether talking does you good or harm.
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Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
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A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
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Many a politician wishes there was a law to burn old records.
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper.
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They used to take your horse and if they were caught they got hung for it. Now they take your car, and if they are caught it's a miracle.
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Legalize racing in every State. Sure people will bet, but they get to see the horses run and you certain can't see General Motors and General Electric and General Utility run when you bet on them.
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Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
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There's the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign are an open book, generally a check book.
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I go too fast to see much, only the tops of everything. I've got to prowl slow some time through this country.
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Every time somebody has thought of relief for the farmer it has been to make it so he could borrow more money. What he needs is some way to pay back. Not some way to borrow more.
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The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back
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We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?
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