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When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Makes
Make
Injured
Joke
Jokes
Congress
Gets
Nobody
Law
More quotes by Will Rogers
We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn't in Congress, why, they would be doing something else against us that might be even worse.
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We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
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Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
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When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
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In time of crisis people want to know that you care, more than they care what you know
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The Ways & Means Committee is a committee that's supposed to find the Ways to divide up the Means.
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Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office.
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Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
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Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
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It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only a sideline.
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When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.
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Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.
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I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
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Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.
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There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war, or famine, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it.
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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America is a land of opportunity and don't ever forget it.
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I guess there is no two races of people in worse repute with everybody than the international bankers, and the folks that put all those pins in new shirts.
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Syntax must be bad, having sin and tax in it.
Will Rogers
