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When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Nobody
Law
Makes
Make
Injured
Joke
Jokes
Congress
Gets

More quotes by Will Rogers

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Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Will Rogers
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What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?
Will Rogers
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There's the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign are an open book, generally a check book.
Will Rogers
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This would be a great world to dance in if we didn’t have to pay the fiddler.
Will Rogers
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Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill.
Will Rogers
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When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
Will Rogers
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Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
Will Rogers
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The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
Will Rogers
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The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.
Will Rogers
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If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?
Will Rogers
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The way to make money in the stock market is to buy a stock. Then, when it goes up, sell it. If it's not going to go up, don't buy it!
Will Rogers
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There wasn't any Republicans in Washington's day. No Republicans, no Boll Weevil, no income tax, no cover charge, no disarmament conference, no luncheon clubs, no stop lights, no static, no head winds. My Lord, living in those days, who wouldn't be great?
Will Rogers
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I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.
Will Rogers
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If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it'll change.
Will Rogers
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Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.
Will Rogers
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It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
Will Rogers
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We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.
Will Rogers
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Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.
Will Rogers
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You know, a Communist's whole life work is based on complaint of how everything is done.... So if they ever get their country running good they will defeat their own cause.
Will Rogers
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The stock market has spoiled more appetites than bad cooking.
Will Rogers