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Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Men
Leaves
Time
Worse
Woman
Women
Better
Looks
Every
Something
More quotes by Will Rogers
You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
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We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
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Prosperity this Winter is going to be enjoyed by everybody that is fortunate enough to get into the poor farm.
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One of these days they are going to remove so much of the 'hooey' and the thousands of things the schools have become clogged up with, and we will find that we can educate our broods for about one-tenth of the price and learn 'em something that they might accidentally use after they escape.
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If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
Will Rogers
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.
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My forefathers didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat.
Will Rogers
Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
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The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
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You can't legitimately kick on income tax, for it's on what you have made. You have already made it. But, look at land, farms, homes, stores, vacant lots. You pay year after year on them whether you make it or not.
Will Rogers
We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it.
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And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
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Don't invite me if you don't want me.
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We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.
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Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are.
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Conferences are just like the poor and the Democrats, they will always be with us.
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I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers when they catch 'em from now on, they're going to publish their names.
Will Rogers
When you're through learning, you're through.
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The president says, 'There is lots of people worse off than the Farmers.' I don't know who it could be unless it is the fellow who holds the Mortgages on the Farms.
Will Rogers
