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There is only one redeeming thing about this whole election. It will be over at sundown, and let everybody pray that it's not a tie, for we couldn't go through with this thing again.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Thing
Ties
Pray
Election
Praying
Couldn
Everybody
Politics
Sundown
Whole
Redeeming

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Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
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We are here for just a spell, so get a few laughs.
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George Bernard Shaw of England stopped over just long enough to make one speech in Bombay, India, started a war and 100 Indians killed each other. That's what I call good speech-making. The only enthusiasm any of our speakers can rouse is a demand to kill the speaker.
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Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
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Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
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If Wall Street paid a tax on every “game” they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on.
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The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
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Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of 'em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they've been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
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Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.
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I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't.
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America has the best politicians money can buy.
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Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill.
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An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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In Washington, one man could do what ten of them do. There could be only a quarter or a third as many congressmen or senators, and we would pick better ones then. But it's the system that we have always used, and there is no use getting all overcome with perspiration over it. Things kinder run themselves, anyhow.
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How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich, or just out of the poor, as usual?
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The high income tax come pretty near passing in the Senate. Only lacked about six votes. So it won't be long now. Well, there is millions and millions that are not making it, that would be glad to give up 99 per cent if you would let 'em earn a hundred thousand or more.
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There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can never tell, till you see it, just how big a liar History is.
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A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that seems handy all the time.
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In Europe public men do resign. But here it's a lost art. You have to impeach 'em.
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