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You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Humor
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Humorist
Funny
Humorists
Political
Optimist
Humorous
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Republican
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More quotes by Will Rogers

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Americans will feed anyone that's not close to them.
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We have the best Congress that money can buy.
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Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can't figure out.
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See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.
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There is some talk of lowering (the income tax), and they will have to. People are not making enough to pay it.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes. You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the bills you can pass in a year.
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Common sense is not an issue in politics--it's an affliction.
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I am telling folks that the Country as a whole is Sound, and that all those who's heads are solid are bound to get back into the market again. I tell 'em that this Country is bigger than Wall Street, and if they don't believe it, I show 'em the map.
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I do honestly believe the Republicans have reformed and want to do better. But whether they have done it in time to win the election is another thing. The old voter is getting so he wants to be saved before October every election year.
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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
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In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain't half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud.
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You know the more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. My only solution would be to keep em both out one term and hire my good friend Henry Ford to run the whole thing, and give him a commission on what he saves us.
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Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.
Will Rogers
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The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
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Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.
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Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.
Will Rogers
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Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
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Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.
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If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier.
Will Rogers