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All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Read
Lately
Funny
Increases
Government
Articles
Awful
Increase
Record
Humor
Deteriorates
Records
Congressional

More quotes by Will Rogers

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He [Calvin Coolidge] is the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.
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The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover didn’t know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow’s hands.
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Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
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With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
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Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate committee appointed to look into it.
Will Rogers
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You know, a Communist's whole life work is based on complaint of how everything is done.... So if they ever get their country running good they will defeat their own cause.
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See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails
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Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
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Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
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The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.
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Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they're not making any more.
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That's one thing about Republican Presidents. They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can.
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In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
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The United States investigates everything - usually after it's dead.
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Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
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All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.
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If your time is worth anything, travel by air. If not, you might just as well walk.
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You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?
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When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like.
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I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.
Will Rogers