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All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Increase
Record
Humor
Deteriorates
Records
Congressional
Read
Lately
Funny
Increases
Government
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Awful

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The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation. I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.
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It ain't so much what a man doesn't know that causes him so many problems, but what he knows that ain't so.
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That's one thing about Republican Presidents. They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can.
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If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
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A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.
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Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human.
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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans
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When you straddle a thing it takes a long time to explain it.
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You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
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A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
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You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets.
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You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.
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Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
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Say, this new home building idea of President Hoover's sounds good. They are working out a lot of beneficial things. The only thing is it took 'em so long to think of any of 'em. We ought to have plans in case of depression, just like we do in case of fire, 'Walk, don't run, to the nearest exit.'
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Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
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Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.
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There is one thing about Englishmen, they won't fix anything till it's just about totally ruined. You couldn't get the English to fix anything at the start. No! They like to sit and watch it grow worse. Then, when it just looks like the whole thing has gone up Salt Creek, why, the English jump in and rescue it.
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All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.
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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
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The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity. I really believe if it come to a vote whether to go to war with England, France and Germany combined, or raise the rate on incomes of over $100,000, they would vote war.
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