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All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Records
Congressional
Read
Lately
Funny
Increases
Government
Articles
Awful
Increase
Record
Humor
Deteriorates

More quotes by Will Rogers

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Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
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If all the time consumed in attending dinners and luncheons was consumed in some work, the production of this country would be doubled
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The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds.
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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A country can get more real joy out of just hollering for their freedom than they can if they get it.
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Every man gets an opportunity once in a lifetime.
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Labor leaders don't do much laboring after they are able to lead.
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There is nothing that sets a nation back as far in civilization as prosperity.
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The United States investigates everything - usually after it's dead.
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Wish all the Farmers would move to town one year, that's the only way I know to clear the thing up.
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Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes. You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the bills you can pass in a year.
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Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.
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You must judge a man's greatness by how much he will be missed.
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Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.
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... while the Republicans are smart enough to make money, the Democrats are smart enough to get in office every two or three times a century and take it away from 'em.
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Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are.
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I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing.
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Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and every kind of animal in the world will drift in for refreshments.
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Prosperity this Winter is going to be enjoyed by everybody that is fortunate enough to get into the poor farm.
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I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes-I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em
Will Rogers