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All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Record
Humor
Deteriorates
Records
Congressional
Read
Lately
Funny
Increases
Government
Articles
Awful
Increase

More quotes by Will Rogers

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Don't just grab at the first thing that comes along. Know when to refuse something that won't get you anywhere
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I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
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There is something about a Republican that you can only stand him just so long and on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can't stand him quite that long.
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In the Middle West now you got to put a brand on your soil, then in the Spring go on a round-up looking for it.
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Nobody wants to be called common people, especially common people.
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Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes. You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the bills you can pass in a year.
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There wasn't any Republicans in Washington's day. No Republicans, no Boll Weevil, no income tax, no cover charge, no disarmament conference, no luncheon clubs, no stop lights, no static, no head winds. My Lord, living in those days, who wouldn't be great?
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You can't legitimately kick on income tax, for it's on what you have made. You have already made it. But, look at land, farms, homes, stores, vacant lots. You pay year after year on them whether you make it or not.
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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
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Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!
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The president says, 'There is lots of people worse off than the Farmers.' I don't know who it could be unless it is the fellow who holds the Mortgages on the Farms.
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I argue with wife over what little pieces of real estate investments we should try to pay on and hold, and which to let go back. We always said, Put it in land, and you can always walk on it. We did, but no buyers would walk on it with us.
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Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
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The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.
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Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
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No party is as bad as its leaders.
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If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.
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You know, a Communist's whole life work is based on complaint of how everything is done.... So if they ever get their country running good they will defeat their own cause.
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Elections are a good deal like marriages. There's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with public officials.
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Prosperity this Winter is going to be enjoyed by everybody that is fortunate enough to get into the poor farm.
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