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I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Sometimes
Everybody
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Chance
Sore
Always
War
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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It's the greatest game I ever saw. You can't lose. Everybody buys to sell and nobody buys to keep. What's worrying me is who is going to be the last owner. It's just like an auction the only one stuck is the last one.
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I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world.
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A king can stand people's fighting but he can't last long if people start thinking.
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There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
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I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
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Every man is ignorant - just on different subjects.
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You must judge a man's greatness by how much he will be missed.
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If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.
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All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.
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If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
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In Washington, one man could do what ten of them do. Things kinder run themselves, anyhow.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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Say, did you read what this writer just dug up in George Washington's diary? I was so ashamed I sat up all night reading it.
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Nobody wants to be called common people, especially common people.
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Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
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The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.
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I haven't seen a tractor working all day. The country has gone sane and got back to horses. Farmers all look worse, but they feel better.
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