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You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
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When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.
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I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
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What the Secretary of Agriculture is trying to do is to teach the farmer corn acreage control, and the hogs birth control, and one is just as hard to make understand it as the other.
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Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.
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The old horse is coming back in a high lope. Thousands of people are riding a horse today that five years ago couldn't sit in a Ford with all the doors locked.
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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
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If you got a dollar, soak it away, put it in a savings bank, bury it, do anything but spend it. Spending when we didn't have it put us where we are today. Saving when we've got it will get us back to where we was before we went cuckoo.
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You know, a Communist's whole life work is based on complaint of how everything is done.... So if they ever get their country running good they will defeat their own cause.
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We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?
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A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.
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There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.
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When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
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You know you've got to exercise your brain just like your muscles.
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A company is known by the people it keeps.
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We live in an age of 'urge'. We do nothing till somebody shoves us.
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Democrats always were a cheap lot. They never had much money to operate on.... They would rather make a speech than a dollar. They cultivate their voice instead of their finances.
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Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
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My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.
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I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
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Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
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