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Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Men
Chewing
Slap
Cowboy
Tobacco
Never

More quotes by Will Rogers

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I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
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This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read.
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An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.
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You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
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I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing.
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It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.
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I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes-I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em
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This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.
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Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
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Now I am not unpatriotic, and I want to do my bit, so I hereby offer my services to my President, my country and my friends to do anything, outside of serving on a commission, that I can in this great movement. But you will have to give me some idea of where confidence is. And just who you want it restored to.
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In Washington, one man could do what ten of them do. Things kinder run themselves, anyhow.
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The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
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I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.
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They are having quite an argument over Treasury Secretary Mellon's Tax Bill. Mr. Mellon wants to cut the surtax on the rich, and leave it as is on the poor, as there is more poor than rich. I suppose the majority will win.
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When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like.
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I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.
Will Rogers
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If you want to know when a war might be coming, you just watch the U.S. and see when it starts cutting down on its defenses. It's the surest barometer in the world.
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Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
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Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
Will Rogers
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I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
Will Rogers