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If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Around
Cowboy
Persons
Pet
Person
Dog
Trying
Influence
Thinking
Somebody
Animal
Ordering
Funny
Canine
Else
Puppy

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Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't.
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There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.
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When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
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I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
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I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else.
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Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
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You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.
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I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian. That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday.
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This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it that few people realize. That is, that unfortunately every one of them is replaced by someone else. If it wasn't for that, this resignation business would be great.
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It looks to me like any man that wants to be President in times like these lacks something.
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You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!.
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I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined or hard to check as a socially ambitious mother.
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Every time somebody has thought of relief for the farmer it has been to make it so he could borrow more money. What he needs is some way to pay back. Not some way to borrow more.
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The Supreme Court is divided almost in half on the decisions. Talk about an international court. How would we ever agree with a lot of foreigners when we can't even agree among our own judges?
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Every day you meet a delegation going to some convention to try and change the way of somebody else's life.
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The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
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It ain't so much what a man doesn't know that causes him so many problems, but what he knows that ain't so.
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The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.
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