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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Death
Scream
Like
Humorous
Peacefully
Car
Grandpa
Died
Passengers
Humor
Grandparent
Sleep
Hilarious
Dies
Screaming
Funny
Grandfather

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When you straddle a thing it takes a long time to explain it.
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There's no way in the world you're going to make a political party respectable unless you keep it out of office.
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There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.
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We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening.
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Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
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Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
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Bankers are likeable rascals. Now that we are all wise to 'em, it's been shown that they don't know any more about finances than the rest of us know about our businesses... which has proved to be nothing.
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Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
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Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.
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It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.
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A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.
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In time of crisis people want to know that you care, more than they care what you know
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Say, did you read what this writer just dug up in George Washington's diary? I was so ashamed I sat up all night reading it.
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We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn't in Congress, why, they would be doing something else against us that might be even worse.
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Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate committee appointed to look into it.
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Funny thing about being a U.S. senator, the only thing the law says you have to be is 30 years old. Not another single requirement. They just figure that a man that old got nobody to blame but himself if he gets caught in there.
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No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.
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You know Lincoln's famous remark about God must have loved the common people, because he made so many of them? Well, you are not going to get people's votes nowadays by calling 'em common. Lincoln might have said it, but I bet it was not until after he was elected.
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Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
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