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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Car
Grandpa
Died
Passengers
Humor
Grandparent
Sleep
Hilarious
Dies
Screaming
Funny
Grandfather
Death
Scream
Like
Humorous
Peacefully

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I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.
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If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week
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Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. Machinery is doing just fine. If it can't kill you, it will put you out of work.
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The trouble with land is that they're not making it anymore.
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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
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Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.
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We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.
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One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.
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If all the time consumed in attending dinners and luncheons was consumed in some work, the production of this country would be doubled
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People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth.
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I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
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Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
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The French couldn't hate us any more unless we helped 'em out in another war.
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She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.
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It would drive a person crazy to dope out really what does divide the two parties. Prosperity don't divide the two parties, for under either administration the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.
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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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A lot of guys have had a lot of fun joking about Henry Ford because he admitted one time that he didn't know history. He don't know it, but history will know him. He has made more history than his critics ever read.
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A king can stand people's fighting but he can't last long if people start thinking.
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You have to have a serious streak in you, or you can't see the funny side of the other fellow.
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