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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Humor
Grandparent
Sleep
Hilarious
Dies
Screaming
Funny
Grandfather
Death
Scream
Like
Humorous
Peacefully
Car
Grandpa
Died
Passengers

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I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
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When you have helped to raise the standard of cooking, you have helped to raise the only thing in the world that really matters. We only have one or two wars in a lifetime, but we have three meals a day -- there's nothing in the world that we do as much as we do eating.
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I go too fast to see much, only the tops of everything. I've got to prowl slow some time through this country.
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There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.
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If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week
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And if you call one a real estate agent and he won't sell you anything. He is a REALATOR. It's the same as what the old fashioned real estate agent used to be only the commission is different.
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Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
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A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some.
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A man who dies without adequate life insurance should have to come back and see the mess he created.
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Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.
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Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.
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Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.
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I don't see why a man shouldn't pay an inheritance tax. If a Country is good enough to pay taxes to while you are living, it's good enough to pay in after you die. By the time you die you should be so used to paying taxes that it would just be almost second nature to you.
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You must never tell a thing. You must illustrate it. We learn through the eye and not the noggin.
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Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human.
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You can take any line of business and skill and the ones who do it the best are the ones who get the most money for it.
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A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.
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In the Middle West now you got to put a brand on your soil, then in the Spring go on a round-up looking for it.
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In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain't half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud.
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If everybody (traded his car for a horse) they would be out of debt in a couple of years. Just think, no gas, no tires, no roads to pay for.
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