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The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Conference
Conferences
United
War
Lost
States
Never

More quotes by Will Rogers

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Of course nothing is ever done about a [presidential] commission report, except, they say, once a man at the state prison for the criminally insane actually read one once clear through. Then he did something about it. He made a bonfire that lasted a week.
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If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
Will Rogers
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You have a wonderful organization. I understand you have ten thousand here. And if you count the ones in the various federal prisons, it brings your total membership up to around thirty thousand.
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Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
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When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
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One of the evils of democracy is, you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not.
Will Rogers
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What's the matter with the world? Why, there ain't nothing but one word wrong with everyone of us, and that's selfishness.
Will Rogers
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And if you call one a real estate agent and he won't sell you anything. He is a REALATOR. It's the same as what the old fashioned real estate agent used to be only the commission is different.
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When you have helped to raise the standard of cooking, you have helped to raise the only thing in the world that really matters. We only have one or two wars in a lifetime, but we have three meals a day -- there's nothing in the world that we do as much as we do eating.
Will Rogers
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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Will Rogers
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When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like.
Will Rogers
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Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Will Rogers
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With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
Will Rogers
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I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.
Will Rogers
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See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.
Will Rogers
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The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights.
Will Rogers
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If we could just go back the last two or three years and do our buying a little more carefully, why... we would be O.K.
Will Rogers
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Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.
Will Rogers
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When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you've got to have been looking for it.
Will Rogers
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Nothing makes a man, or a body of men, as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it, they laugh it off.
Will Rogers