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The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Never
Conference
Conferences
United
War
Lost
States

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There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.
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There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood.
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There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.
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The US is safest when Congress is in recess.
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I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
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If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
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If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
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It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.
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Conferences are just like the poor and the Democrats, they will always be with us.
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Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
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The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid.
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Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.
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When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.
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Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they're not making any more.
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Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human.
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If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
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The United States investigates everything - usually after it's dead.
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We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn't in Congress, why, they would be doing something else against us that might be even worse.
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Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help them back to bed again.
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If a bank fails in China, they behead the men at the top of it that was responsible... If we beheaded all of ours that were responsible for bank failures, we wouldn't have enough people left to bury the heads.
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