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America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Getting
Conceives
America
Inventions
Nothing
Odd
Many
Invention
Think
Somewhere
Thinking
Nation
Gets
Nations

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On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
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Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
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All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.
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This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.
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It's great to be great, but its greater to be human.
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We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
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It rained in the Middle West. Farmers are learning that the relief they get from the sky beats what they get from Washington.
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And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
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One of the evils of democracy is, you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not.
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When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
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A politician is just like a pickpocket it's almost impossible to get him to reform.
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You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!.
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You know Lincoln's famous remark about God must have loved the common people, because he made so many of them? Well, you are not going to get people's votes nowadays by calling 'em common. Lincoln might have said it, but I bet it was not until after he was elected.
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The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.
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I have Indian Blood in me. I have just enough white blood for you to question my honesty!
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George Bernard Shaw of England stopped over just long enough to make one speech in Bombay, India, started a war and 100 Indians killed each other. That's what I call good speech-making. The only enthusiasm any of our speakers can rouse is a demand to kill the speaker.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
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Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely
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Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are.
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There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don't take much to see that something is wrong, but it does take some eyesight to see what will put it right again
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