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If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Numbers
Half
Aggravation
Funny
Session
Things
Studied
Think
Passed
Thinking
Congress
Life
Number
Couldn

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We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
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Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.
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Out here I had been putting what little money I had in Ocean Frontage, for the sole reason that there was only so much of it and no more, and that they wasent making any more.
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It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
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Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would 'pull you from this bog hole of financial misery.' Now is a good chance to get even with 'em, by electing 'em, just to prove what a liar they are.
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There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.
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Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
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Every time we have an election, we get in worse men and the country keeps right on going. Times have proven only one thing and that is you can't ruin this country even with politics.
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We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
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People should be more concerned with the return of their principal than the return on their principal.
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There is a horse here-the furthest north of any horse, and he eats fish and travels on snowshoes.
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It wasn't what we needed then that was hurting us, it was what we was paying for that we had already used up. The country was just buying gasoline for a leaky tank. Everything was going into a gopher hole and you couldent see where you was going to get any of it back.
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Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down.
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I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us, for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart
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Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.
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We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.
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There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.
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It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
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People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth.
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