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If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Thinking
Congress
Life
Number
Couldn
Numbers
Half
Aggravation
Funny
Session
Things
Studied
Think
Passed

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An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.
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The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent.
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I would never make a good economist. You know, an economist is a man that can tell you anything about — well, he will tell you what can happen under any given condition — and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's, too.
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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In Washington, one man could do what ten of them do. Things kinder run themselves, anyhow.
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See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
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The president says, 'There is lots of people worse off than the Farmers.' I don't know who it could be unless it is the fellow who holds the Mortgages on the Farms.
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Coolidge made less speeches and got more votes than any man that ever run. (William Jennings) Bryan was listened to and cheered by more people than any single human in politics, and he lost. So there is a doubt just whether talking does you good or harm.
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A fool and his money are soon elected.
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The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich.
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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity's door if you ardently wish to enter.
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We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good.
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes. You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the bills you can pass in a year.
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The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
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If Wall Street paid a tax on every “game” they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on.
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There is nothing in the world that we do as much as we do eating
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That's one thing about Republican Presidents. They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can.
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