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I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Calling
Seeing
Father
America
Would
George
Washington

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If you want to know when a war might be coming, you just watch the U.S. and see when it starts cutting down on its defenses. It's the surest barometer in the world.
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If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
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Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
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If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.
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You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.
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The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is that the Democrat is a cannibal, they live off each other, while the Republicans live off the Democrats.
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We live in an age of 'urge'. We do nothing till somebody shoves us.
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We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.
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A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.
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Wish all the Farmers would move to town one year, that's the only way I know to clear the thing up.
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When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to lose some of its Humor, and if it keeps on happening, why the entire laughter kinder Fades out of it.
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You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.
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I never met a man that I didn't like.
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Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
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Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.
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You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
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In Washington, one man could do what ten of them do. Things kinder run themselves, anyhow.
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Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man we never get to vote on what he is to do.
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