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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers
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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
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Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
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Report
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More quotes by Will Rogers
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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When a fellow ain't got much mind, it don't take him long to make it up.
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I never met a man that I didn't like.
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I'm not a member of an organized party. I'm a Democrat.
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Many a politician wishes there was a law to burn old records.
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I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.
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What's the matter with the world? Why, there ain't nothing but one word wrong with everyone of us, and that's selfishness.
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We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in.
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to lose some of its Humor, and if it keeps on happening, why the entire laughter kinder Fades out of it.
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There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.
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If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
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A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some.
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The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the President has to tell 'em.
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We are here for just a spell, so get a few laughs.
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I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.
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Harvard students have completed more English courses and less forward passes than any school in this generation.
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You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.
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I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else ... I was not a Child Prodigy, because a Child Prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
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An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.
Will Rogers
