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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Liberty
Comedian
Humorists
Politics
Humorous
Governing
Funny
Insane
Report
Facts
Profound
Sarcastic
Political
Jokes
Humour
Government
Watches
Reports
Make
Watch
Libertarian
Watchfulness
Humor
Witty
Watchers

More quotes by Will Rogers

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Politicians, after all, are not over a year behind public opinion.
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Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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This would be a great world to dance in if we didn’t have to pay the fiddler.
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I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is - they like to run their own business. I know men that would -make my wife a better husband than I am but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em.
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The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him.
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You can't legitimately kick on income tax, for it's on what you have made. You have already made it. But, look at land, farms, homes, stores, vacant lots. You pay year after year on them whether you make it or not.
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Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.
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Labor leaders don't do much laboring after they are able to lead.
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People learn more from observation that they do from conversation.
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Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
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You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?
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I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.
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The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity. I really believe if it come to a vote whether to go to war with England, France and Germany combined, or raise the rate on incomes of over $100,000, they would vote war.
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If a bank fails in China, they behead the men at the top of it that was responsible... If we beheaded all of ours that were responsible for bank failures, we wouldn't have enough people left to bury the heads.
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If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
Will Rogers
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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Will Rogers
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A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.
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It looks to me like the candidates are trying to relieve the farmer of his vote, instead of his debts.
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We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it
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Ability is all right but if it is not backed up by honesty and public confidence you will never be a successful person. The best a man can do is to arrive at the top in his chosen profession. I have always maintained that one profession is deserving of as much honor as another provided it is honorable.
Will Rogers