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Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Government
Book
Thankful
Sarcastic
Paying
Beer
Drink
Getting
Funny

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A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
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Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes. You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the bills you can pass in a year.
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Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
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America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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With old inflation riding the headlines, I have read till I am bleary-eyed, and I can't get head from tails of the whole thing. ... Now we are living in an age of explanations-and plenty of 'em, too-but no two things that's been done to us have been explained twice the same way, by even the same man. It's and age of in one ear and out the other.
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You can't fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn't necessary.
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And, when the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one.
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I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.
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Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat.
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I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else.
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You politicians have got to look further ahead you always got a Putter in your hands, when you ought to have a Driver.
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A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that seems handy all the time.
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Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.
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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
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I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
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I love words but I don't like strange ones. You don't understand them and they don't understand you. Old words is like old friends, you know 'em the minute you see 'em.
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The bankers just got a good cussing by everybody for loaning too much money. Well, they got some awful nice buildings. So when a banker fails, he fails in splendor.
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A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.
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The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.
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