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The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Life
Stories
Taxes
Take
Pay
Pilgrims
Enough
Minutes
Pilgrim
Hard
Fun
Borrow
Even
Break
Practically
Work
Moral
Every
Story
Behave
Time
Money
Minute

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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I hear so many things about who I am supposed to be I hardly know what to believe. I am willing to tell all, but what Is it? Doubtless all these myths and legends will be straightened out eventually, but It may take years.
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Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.
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All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.
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I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
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The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.
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It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
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We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
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Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.
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The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
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Aristotle described the Crow as chaste. In some departments of knowledge, Aristotle was too innocent for his own good.
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A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
Will Cuppy
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The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.
Will Cuppy
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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
Will Cuppy
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The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.
Will Cuppy
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The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
Will Cuppy
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Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
Will Cuppy
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Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.
Will Cuppy
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An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?
Will Cuppy
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They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
Will Cuppy