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The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Even
Break
Borrow
Work
Moral
Practically
Every
Story
Behave
Time
Money
Minute
Life
Stories
Taxes
Take
Pay
Enough
Minutes
Pilgrims
Hard
Fun
Pilgrim

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
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The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.
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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
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Male penguins are unfaithful up to an advanced age, a phenomenon sometimes attributed to the sea air.
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Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
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To the seeing eye life is mostly Sparrows.
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Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.
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The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
Will Cuppy
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Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.
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Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
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Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.
Will Cuppy
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A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
Will Cuppy
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I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
Will Cuppy
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A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
Will Cuppy
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It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
Will Cuppy
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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy
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It's easy to see the faults in people, I know and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.
Will Cuppy
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The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
Will Cuppy
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy