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The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
Will Cuppy
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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Time
Money
Minute
Life
Stories
Taxes
Take
Pay
Enough
Minutes
Pilgrims
Hard
Fun
Pilgrim
Even
Break
Borrow
Work
Moral
Practically
Every
Story
Behave
More quotes by Will Cuppy
The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.
Will Cuppy
They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
Will Cuppy
Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
Will Cuppy
Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.
Will Cuppy
I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
Will Cuppy
We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy
Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
Will Cuppy
We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Will Cuppy
The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
Will Cuppy
Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.
Will Cuppy
If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead... While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.
Will Cuppy
Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
Will Cuppy
The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
Will Cuppy
A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
Will Cuppy
Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
Will Cuppy
Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.
Will Cuppy
[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.
Will Cuppy
My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
Will Cuppy
[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
Will Cuppy