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The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
Will Cuppy
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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
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Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Enough
Minutes
Pilgrims
Hard
Fun
Pilgrim
Even
Break
Borrow
Work
Moral
Practically
Every
Story
Behave
Time
Money
Minute
Life
Stories
Taxes
Take
Pay
More quotes by Will Cuppy
I hear so many things about who I am supposed to be I hardly know what to believe. I am willing to tell all, but what Is it? Doubtless all these myths and legends will be straightened out eventually, but It may take years.
Will Cuppy
[Footnote:] To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard work per se will somehow make him a better Beaver -- the Beaver may be dumb, but he is not that dumb! The Beaver was made to gnaw, and gnaw he does. There you have him in a nutshell.
Will Cuppy
My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
Will Cuppy
The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.
Will Cuppy
I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
Will Cuppy
Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.
Will Cuppy
The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.
Will Cuppy
To the seeing eye life is mostly Sparrows.
Will Cuppy
The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy
If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead... While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.
Will Cuppy
They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
Will Cuppy
Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
Will Cuppy
We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Will Cuppy
Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
Will Cuppy
A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
Will Cuppy
Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.
Will Cuppy
Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
Will Cuppy
Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.
Will Cuppy
We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.
Will Cuppy