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The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Hard
Fun
Pilgrim
Even
Break
Borrow
Work
Moral
Practically
Every
Story
Behave
Time
Money
Minute
Life
Stories
Taxes
Take
Pay
Enough
Minutes
Pilgrims

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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If a cat does something, we call it instinct if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
Will Cuppy
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy
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I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
Will Cuppy
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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
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The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
Will Cuppy
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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
Will Cuppy
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The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
Will Cuppy
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The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.
Will Cuppy
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All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.
Will Cuppy
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Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
Will Cuppy
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We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle described the Crow as chaste. In some departments of knowledge, Aristotle was too innocent for his own good.
Will Cuppy
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Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.
Will Cuppy
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Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.
Will Cuppy
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An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?
Will Cuppy
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Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard work per se will somehow make him a better Beaver -- the Beaver may be dumb, but he is not that dumb! The Beaver was made to gnaw, and gnaw he does. There you have him in a nutshell.
Will Cuppy
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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy