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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Young
Abnormal
May
Tiger
People
Eaten
Tigers
Assured
Normal
Rest
Modern

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
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Aristotle described the Crow as chaste. In some departments of knowledge, Aristotle was too innocent for his own good.
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Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.
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The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.
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Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.
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During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.
Will Cuppy
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The Zebra is striped all over so that the Lion can see him and eat him. Some people say he is striped so that the Lion can not see him. These people believe that the stripes of the Zebra simulate the bars of sunlight falling through the tall jungle grasses and that therefore the Zebra is invisible and that the earth is flat.
Will Cuppy
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The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
Will Cuppy
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Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
Will Cuppy
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I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.
Will Cuppy
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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Will Cuppy
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Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.
Will Cuppy
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The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
Will Cuppy
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The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
Will Cuppy
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Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, Does this fish think? I would even ask others, Do you suppose this Butterbelly can think? And all I would get in reply was a look. At the age of eighteen, I left the state.
Will Cuppy
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It's easy to see the faults in people, I know and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.
Will Cuppy
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A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
Will Cuppy
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We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
Will Cuppy