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Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Honour
Whenever
Saws
Dynastic
Marriage
Viii
Wife
Maid
Strong
Maids
Sense
Henry
Many
Wives

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The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.
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The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
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[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
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It's easy to see the faults in people, I know and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.
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Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.
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Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
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The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.
Will Cuppy
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A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
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Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.
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Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.
Will Cuppy
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During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.
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The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.
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I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
Will Cuppy
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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
Will Cuppy
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The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
Will Cuppy
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I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.
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Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
Will Cuppy