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I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Oil
Work
Strikes
Unless
Help
Lost
Helping
Inherit
Money
Strike
Nothing

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
Will Cuppy
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Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.
Will Cuppy
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The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.
Will Cuppy
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Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.
Will Cuppy
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If a cat does something, we call it instinct if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
Will Cuppy
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The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
Will Cuppy
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The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
Will Cuppy
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A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
Will Cuppy
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My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
Will Cuppy
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It's easy to see the faults in people, I know and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.
Will Cuppy
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The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.
Will Cuppy
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The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.
Will Cuppy
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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
Will Cuppy
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy
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Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, Does this fish think? I would even ask others, Do you suppose this Butterbelly can think? And all I would get in reply was a look. At the age of eighteen, I left the state.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
Will Cuppy
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During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.
Will Cuppy
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Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.
Will Cuppy