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I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Strikes
Unless
Help
Lost
Helping
Money
Inherit
Nothing
Strike
Work
Oil

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.
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The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.
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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
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Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
Will Cuppy
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My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
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A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
Will Cuppy
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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
Will Cuppy
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They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
Will Cuppy
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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy
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I hear so many things about who I am supposed to be I hardly know what to believe. I am willing to tell all, but what Is it? Doubtless all these myths and legends will be straightened out eventually, but It may take years.
Will Cuppy
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The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
Will Cuppy
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Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.
Will Cuppy
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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle described the Crow as chaste. In some departments of knowledge, Aristotle was too innocent for his own good.
Will Cuppy
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The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
Will Cuppy
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Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.
Will Cuppy
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Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.
Will Cuppy
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A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
Will Cuppy
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The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.
Will Cuppy