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An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Ants
Runs
Hot
Faster
Wouldn
Cold
Stove
Running
Footnotes
Stoves

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.
Will Cuppy
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The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.
Will Cuppy
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Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.
Will Cuppy
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If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead... While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.
Will Cuppy
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The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard work per se will somehow make him a better Beaver -- the Beaver may be dumb, but he is not that dumb! The Beaver was made to gnaw, and gnaw he does. There you have him in a nutshell.
Will Cuppy
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I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
Will Cuppy
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy
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The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.
Will Cuppy
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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
Will Cuppy
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During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.
Will Cuppy
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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Will Cuppy
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I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.
Will Cuppy
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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
Will Cuppy
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Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
Will Cuppy
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The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.
Will Cuppy
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The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.
Will Cuppy
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Much still remains to be learned about his sex life because the Hummingbird is quicker than the eye.
Will Cuppy
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The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
Will Cuppy
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The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.
Will Cuppy