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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Common
United
States
Vipers
Footnotes
Worse

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
Will Cuppy
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The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.
Will Cuppy
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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
Will Cuppy
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The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.
Will Cuppy
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They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
Will Cuppy
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Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.
Will Cuppy
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The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.
Will Cuppy
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Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
Will Cuppy
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The Zebra is striped all over so that the Lion can see him and eat him. Some people say he is striped so that the Lion can not see him. These people believe that the stripes of the Zebra simulate the bars of sunlight falling through the tall jungle grasses and that therefore the Zebra is invisible and that the earth is flat.
Will Cuppy
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The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.
Will Cuppy
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The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
Will Cuppy
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Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.
Will Cuppy
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Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.
Will Cuppy
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Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.
Will Cuppy
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If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead... While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.
Will Cuppy
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The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.
Will Cuppy
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I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
Will Cuppy
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The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
Will Cuppy