Quote

[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.

Will Cuppy

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Current
Currents
Male
Males
Discusses
Female
Footnote
Events
Marries
Footnotes
Females

More quotes by Will Cuppy

Image
Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy
Image
Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, Does this fish think? I would even ask others, Do you suppose this Butterbelly can think? And all I would get in reply was a look. At the age of eighteen, I left the state.
Will Cuppy
Image
Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.
Will Cuppy
Image
Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
Will Cuppy
Image
I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
Will Cuppy
Image
[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
Will Cuppy
Image
I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
Will Cuppy
Image
My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
Will Cuppy
Image
The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.
Will Cuppy
Image
An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?
Will Cuppy
Image
A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
Will Cuppy
Image
It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
Will Cuppy
Image
The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.
Will Cuppy
Image
During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.
Will Cuppy
Image
All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.
Will Cuppy
Image
Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
Will Cuppy
Image
The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy
Image
The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
Will Cuppy
Image
We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Will Cuppy
Image
The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
Will Cuppy