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I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Well
Afford
Foolishly
Plenty
Orphans
Debt
Confine
Pay
Debts
Unless
Widows
Honest
Orphan
Around
Borrowing
Wells
Borrow
Squander

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.
Will Cuppy
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Male penguins are unfaithful up to an advanced age, a phenomenon sometimes attributed to the sea air.
Will Cuppy
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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
Will Cuppy
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Much still remains to be learned about his sex life because the Hummingbird is quicker than the eye.
Will Cuppy
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Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
Will Cuppy
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We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle described the Crow as chaste. In some departments of knowledge, Aristotle was too innocent for his own good.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard work per se will somehow make him a better Beaver -- the Beaver may be dumb, but he is not that dumb! The Beaver was made to gnaw, and gnaw he does. There you have him in a nutshell.
Will Cuppy
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Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
Will Cuppy
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To the seeing eye life is mostly Sparrows.
Will Cuppy
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Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.
Will Cuppy
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Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.
Will Cuppy
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I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.
Will Cuppy
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During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.
Will Cuppy
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My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
Will Cuppy
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy
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Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, Does this fish think? I would even ask others, Do you suppose this Butterbelly can think? And all I would get in reply was a look. At the age of eighteen, I left the state.
Will Cuppy
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An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
Will Cuppy