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Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.
Will Cuppy
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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Warned
Apes
Near
Teach
Everything
Looks
More quotes by Will Cuppy
Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.
Will Cuppy
Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
Will Cuppy
Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
Will Cuppy
The Zebra is striped all over so that the Lion can see him and eat him. Some people say he is striped so that the Lion can not see him. These people believe that the stripes of the Zebra simulate the bars of sunlight falling through the tall jungle grasses and that therefore the Zebra is invisible and that the earth is flat.
Will Cuppy
It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
Will Cuppy
I hear so many things about who I am supposed to be I hardly know what to believe. I am willing to tell all, but what Is it? Doubtless all these myths and legends will be straightened out eventually, but It may take years.
Will Cuppy
A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
Will Cuppy
Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.
Will Cuppy
I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
Will Cuppy
[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
Will Cuppy
Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.
Will Cuppy
Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.
Will Cuppy
Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
Will Cuppy
The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
Will Cuppy
The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
Will Cuppy
To the seeing eye life is mostly Sparrows.
Will Cuppy
We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Will Cuppy
Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
Will Cuppy
Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.
Will Cuppy
Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, Does this fish think? I would even ask others, Do you suppose this Butterbelly can think? And all I would get in reply was a look. At the age of eighteen, I left the state.
Will Cuppy