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The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Lives
Sloth
Happens
Upside
Nothing
Pet
Work
Perfectly
Way
Comfortable
Life
Blood
Head
Animal
Rushes

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The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.
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They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
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My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
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The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
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The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
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[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
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Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.
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Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.
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If a cat does something, we call it instinct if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
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Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.
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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
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Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.
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The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.
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I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
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Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.
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It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
Will Cuppy
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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
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