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The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Becoming
Animal
Chance
Purpose
Funny
Dodo
Seems
Extinct
Good
Sole
Never
Invented

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It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
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A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
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Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.
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Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
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The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
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My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
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All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.
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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
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Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.
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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
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The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.
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[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
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I hear so many things about who I am supposed to be I hardly know what to believe. I am willing to tell all, but what Is it? Doubtless all these myths and legends will be straightened out eventually, but It may take years.
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The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.
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It's easy to see the faults in people, I know and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.
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They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
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I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.
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Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.
Will Cuppy