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The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Chance
Purpose
Funny
Dodo
Seems
Extinct
Good
Sole
Never
Invented
Becoming
Animal

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Much still remains to be learned about his sex life because the Hummingbird is quicker than the eye.
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During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.
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Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.
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Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.
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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
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Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
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If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead... While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.
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It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
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Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.
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We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
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It's easy to see the faults in people, I know and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.
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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
Will Cuppy
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I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
Will Cuppy
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Male penguins are unfaithful up to an advanced age, a phenomenon sometimes attributed to the sea air.
Will Cuppy
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy
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All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.
Will Cuppy
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An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?
Will Cuppy
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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
Will Cuppy