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Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Need
Needs
Armadillos
Much
Pets
Make
Adorable
Affectionate
Pet
Affection
Science

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Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
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I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.
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The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.
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Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.
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My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
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If a cat does something, we call it instinct if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
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Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
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Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
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[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.
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The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.
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The Zebra is striped all over so that the Lion can see him and eat him. Some people say he is striped so that the Lion can not see him. These people believe that the stripes of the Zebra simulate the bars of sunlight falling through the tall jungle grasses and that therefore the Zebra is invisible and that the earth is flat.
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A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
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Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.
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Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.
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A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
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All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.
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The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.
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