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Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Need
Needs
Armadillos
Much
Pets
Make
Adorable
Affectionate
Pet
Affection
Science

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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
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The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.
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The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.
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The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.
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It's easy to see the faults in people, I know and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.
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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
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The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
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They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
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We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
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The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.
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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
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Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.
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A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
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Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.
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Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.
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Much still remains to be learned about his sex life because the Hummingbird is quicker than the eye.
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The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.
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Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.
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Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
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