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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Rent
Springs
Fever
Rage
Spring
Humor
Hay
Hell
Overdue
Miscellaneous

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy
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Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.
Will Cuppy
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I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.
Will Cuppy
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Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.
Will Cuppy
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Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
Will Cuppy
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We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
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I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
Will Cuppy
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Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.
Will Cuppy
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They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
Will Cuppy
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Much still remains to be learned about his sex life because the Hummingbird is quicker than the eye.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle described the Crow as chaste. In some departments of knowledge, Aristotle was too innocent for his own good.
Will Cuppy
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Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
Will Cuppy
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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
Will Cuppy
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I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
Will Cuppy
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Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.
Will Cuppy
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Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
Will Cuppy
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The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
Will Cuppy
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If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead... While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.
Will Cuppy